Writing Author Bio's

Writing Author Bio's

YourI have to say first thing, if you're writing your bio for inclusion in a query, ignore everything you read below.  Bios in queries should NOT be in third person. They should be simple, only containing relevant publishing credits. Nothing more. 
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I finished reading Kate LeVann's THINGS I KNOW ABOUT LOVE (which I *loved* and will review tonight) the other day and I flipped to the last page and read her bio to find out what other things she wrote so I could look them up:

Kate le Vann was born in Yorkshire, England, but has lived in London; Vancouver, British Columbia; and Princeton, New Jersey. She’s written for magazines and newspapers, including CosmoGIRL!, Vogue, Company, and The Big Issue. She visits New York City as often as she can, but she’s also been there twice chasing after boys. The first boy was not that into her, and the second boy showed up to the airport an hour late because he was buying plastic spoons in Ikea and lost track of the time. She married that one. She lives in England with her husband and two daughters. 

I actually laughed out loud. From a bio.

I'm used to seeing boring lists of titles and maybe a quick mention of a spouse/partner and a pet or two.  So when Kate's list turned into something with actual heart to it, I got excited.  I wanted to write a bio like that! But my current bio kinda sucked:

Living as Cassandra means getting up at 7:30a to run Mollie, a mixed breed dog. Then it's back to sleep for a few more hours. Being a writer and freelance editor means that she can set her own hours. This also means that she can usually be found reading slush for her internship at a literary agency at 3am while maybe eating breakfast, and sleeping until noon. Sometimes later.

Cassandra jokes about living in a cornfield, but it's true. Emmett, MI, USA is one giant cornfield with a few stoplights thrown in. Rumor has it that there's going to be beans this year instead of corn. Crop rotation and all that.

Before moving to Emmett, she spent a year in the northeast of England to attend Newcastle University and earn her MA in Creative Writing with an emphasis in fiction writing. And before that she attended Rochester College where she earned a BA in Professional Writing.

She dreams of one day owning a small house near the water, preferably in England, and having a shelf full of books she has written and has helped others to write.

 Not only is it long, but it's basically just another series of lists of boring things. So I set out to find a couple more great bios and found these:

Marcus Sakey is the bestselling author of four novels. His latest, The Amateurs, was called “genius” by the Chicago Tribune. He attended the University of Michigan, earned two majors, both promptly ignored; collected single terms at grad schools in several states; and spent ten years in advertising and marketing, which gave him the perfect experience to write about thieves and killers.

R. L. LaFevers (Robin Lorraine when she’s in really big trouble) has been fascinated by libraries and museums ever since she first set foot in one. She’s pretty sure it’s because of all the ancient mysteries, sitting there on the shelves, just waiting to be discovered. She has also spent a large portion of her life being told she was making up things that weren’t there, which only proves she was destined to write fiction. When she’s not gazing longingly at ancient artifacts or wallowing in old forgotten texts, she’s busy trying to keep one step ahead of her two teenaged sons. She lives with the aforementioned sons, her husband, and a demonic cat in Southern California. This is her first book with Houghton Mifflin Company.

Mandy Hubbard is the author of Prada & Prejudice. She grew up on a dairy farm outside Seattle, where her most ferverent wish that Dawson's Creek never be canceled. A cowgirl at heart, she likes riding horses, four-wheelers, and singing horribly to the latest country tunes. She lives in Enumclaw, Washington. Visit her online at www.mandyhubbard.com

 So I set about to revise my bio and came up with this:

C.A. Marshall gets to use her MA from Newcastle University in her day job as a freelance editor. This means that she can set her own hours and lay around the house in her pajamas all day, snuggling with her dog Mollie whenever she wants to. She's seriously addicted to that dog. Cassandra jokes about living in a cornfield, but it's true. Emmett, MI, USA is one giant cornfield with a few stoplights thrown in. She dreams of one day owning a small house near the water, preferably in England, with a shelf full of books she has written and has helped others to write. 

So what do you guys think? Better?

Do you have an author bio? Want to share it here?